A collection of meaningful quotes from “A Muppet Family Christmas Movie” capturing the heartwarming and humorous spirit of the Muppets’ holiday celebration.
Funny A Muppet Family Christmas Movie Quotes
- GONZO: Good thing, she’s in for a beauty.
- FOZZIE: Oh, how little you understand bears, Kermit. My mother loves surprises!
- MA BEAR: Well, the plane leaves for California in three hours! Ho-ho! Christmas in Malibu! (sigh) I’m going to lie on the beach and catch some rays! Wocka wocka!
- GONZO: Be careful, Sprocket. These could be from some foreign planet.
- MA BEAR: Actually, they’re from television. I recognized Fozzie’s weirdo friends.
- KERMIT: Well, frog, actually.
- MA BEAR: Oh, yeah. The lizard.
- MA BEAR: You think you’re disappointed?! I just took three months of surfing lessons for zip!
- ANIMAL: Oh. Pig.
- MISS PIGGY: Do not worry so, my little green hunk.
- PHOTOGRAPHER: Now do that pouty thing.
- MISS PIGGY: Oh yes! (comes up to the camera and starts making her angry face and noise)
- PHOTOGRAPHER: Do that pouty thing! Oh, yes. Fabulous!
- SWEDISH CHEF: Yah! Gigis furara de huy de dugga gubbla gubbla gubbla toorkey!
- FOZZIE: Oh, you mean, you’re here to cook the Christmas turkey for us!
- GONZO: Y-You’re a turkey!
- TURKEY: Of course.
- GONZO: Come on outside. We gotta talk.
- TURKEY: If you’re not careful, it’ll be in the oven.
- GONZO: (snidely) See you at dinner!
- KERMIT: Uh, well, how about we send them to his bedroom instead?
- SWEDISH CHEF: Oh, yah! Chickie und the ratty in the bunkski bunksko!
- FOZZIE: What does he mean, he’s all ears? Frogs don’t even have ears.
- DOC: I don’t care if the turkey said the dog is a turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey’s the turkey, you turkey!
- TURKEY: This is starting to be fun.
- FLOYD: It’s Miss Ham Hocks! When she was just a little sausage roll!
- ROWLF: Not so wee! I was paper trained!
- GONZO: What a handsome little devil I was! (wiggles his eyelids)
- DOC: Even weirdos are cute when they’re babies.
- TURKEY: You gotta be kiddin’. You’re not even a bird!
- GONZO: Well, nobody’s perfect.
- TURKEY: Why, you’re pulling my leg, hose nose!
- GONZO: I’ll be pulling your…your wishbone, cranberry breath!
- DOC: Sprocket and I will have to give up our hammock in the attic, right?
- MA BEAR: Either that or build bunk beds in the broom closet.
- BERT: Did you know that “Doc” starts with the letter “D”?
- ERNIE: Yes! “Yes” starts with the letter “Y”!
- ERNIE: And “true” starts with the letter “T”!
- ERNIE: “B” words.
- TURKEY: Hey-hey-hey! No-no-no, you got me wrong. I’m a dairy cow. Moo!
- TURKEY: Okay, all right, Iiiii’m a– I’m a birdie, I’m a birdie! I’m a seagull, all right?
- TURKEY: Okay, all right, I admit it, I admit it! The jig is up! (sigh) Here I am, the Christmas turkey.
- TURKEY: If you think I’m a nice fat bird… LOOK AT THIS!
- OSCAR: No, I’ll be nicely miserable in my trash can here.
- ROWLF: Yeah, I’ve been chasing a truck all the way, and boy, am I exhausted. (laughs)
- ROWLF: Truck, exhaust. That’s funny!
- ROWLF: Yeah, that’s a dog joke.
- FOZZIE: She loves canine humor!
- SNOWMAN: Actually, I’m a snew-man.
- SNOWMAN: Nothin’s as’new, man! What’s as’new with you?
- FOZZIE: It’s so cold that when I opened my refrigerator this morning, there was a polar bear inside trying to keep warm!
- FOZZIE: That’s snow, darling! Aaaaaahh!
- BERT: Ernie, why must you always humiliate me?
- GROVER: Oh! Uh, so that you can see that I am not stirring. Note how the hand never touches the spoon.
- BERT: Wha, m-m-monsters as reindeer?! This is crazy.
- SAM: Is nothing sacred?
Heartwarming A Muppet Family Christmas Movie Quotes
- FOZZIE: Guys, this is the best idea we’ve had in years: Christmas at my mother’s farm!
- KERMIT: Sounds great, Fozzie
- MA BEAR: Oh, you must be the renter. Come in, come in!
- MA BEAR: Oh, mind your step! Be careful, there’s an icy patch there. (sigh) I’m just so glad there’s someone going to be staying in the house while I’m gone.
- DOC: We’ve been wanting to spend a nice, quiet Christmas in the country.
- MA BEAR: You’ve come to the right place!
- FOZZIE: Ta-dah! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
- FOZZIE: Oh, it’s so good to see you!
- FOZZIE: No, no, the real surprise is… I brought all my friends with me!
- MA BEAR: Oh, don’t you worry about it. There’s plenty of room for everybody.
- MISS PIGGY: My chauffeur, Jerome, is ready to whisk me away into your arms at the farmhouse.
- MA BEAR: You’ll find more bedrooms up the stairs.
- FOZZIE: Oh, watch out for that icy patch there.
- FOZZIE: Let’s go to the kitchen!
- GONZO: Now, where did my little chickie-poo Camilla get to?
- TURKEY: I was invited for Christmas by some guy who spoke Swedish!
- TURKEY: Not to worry, I’m a survivor.
- KERMIT: Up to the bedroom! Up to the bedroom!
- KERMIT: Another crisis solved.
- ROBIN: There sure are a lot of us here.
- KERMIT: Well, the whole family’s starting to come together.
- ROBIN: We always come together at Christmas.
- KERMIT: Yeah. Life would just pass in a blur if it weren’t for times like this.
- JANICE: What a bright time, it’s the right time, to rock the night away!
- JANICE: Jingle bell time is a swell time… to go gliding in a one-horse sleigh!
- FOZZIE: Oh, that’s going to be a terrific Christmas tree.
- ROWLF: Yo, Fozzie, I finally made it!
- FOZZIE: Hey, Rowlf! Welcome!
- MA BEAR: Okay, boys, put it over there in the corner. Come on, Doc, let’s get this holly up here.
- ROWLF: Anyhow, my name’s Rowlf the Dog. I’ve come for the holidays.
- MA BEAR: (sighs) I’ll go out and see if there’s a spare pillow in the kennel.
- ROWLF: Just what I was looking for! Look at this little beauty,
- SNOWMAN: There’s a Christmas party at the home of Fozzie Bear!
- FOZZIE: It’ll be a perfect party with my friends all there!
- FOZZIE & SNOWMAN: We’ll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop! At the fireplace while we watch the chestnuts pop!
- FOZZIE & SNOWMAN: Come on, it’s lovely weather for a Christmas together with yooooooou!
- PENGUIN: Man, you guys are the funniest comedy team in the business!
- FOZZIE: Really?
- MISS PIGGY: I just wanted to tell you I have an itsy bit of Christmas shopping to do before I come out to the farmhouse.
- MISS PIGGY: Not never you fear, dear. I shall be there soon. Ta-ta!
- SCOOTER: It’s home movies! I found this old film in the closet! It’s the very first Christmas the Muppets ever spent together!
- KERMIT: Great! I haven’t seen that film in years. Turn off the lights and roll the film!
- DOC: Oh, that was fun! Even weirdos are cute when they’re babies.
- BIG BIRD: Merry Christmas from Sesame Street!
- SESAME STREET MUPPETS: Merry Christmas!
- KERMIT: It’s nice to have everyone here. You can feel the peace of the holiday season.
- ERNIE: Oh! Hi there! We’re Ernie and Bert!
- DOC: Well, it’s nice to meet you, but I’ve gotta go and build some bunk beds.
- ERNIE & BERT: Bunk beds!
- BERT: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- TWO-HEADED MONSTER: Mewwy Cwismas to aww, and to aww a goo nigh!
- SESAME STREET MUPPETS: Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!