These Al Czervik Quotes capture his irreverent attitude, his hilarious interactions with the club’s elite, and his unforgettable one-liners from the classic movie Caddyshack.
Classic Czervik Insults and Teasing
- “Hey, Smails! My dinghy’s bigger than your whole boat!”
- “I should have yelled, ‘Two!’”
- “Come on, Ty, you’re an ace. Everybody knows it.”
- “What are you, religious or something?”
- “Hey, Kid park my car, get my bags… and put on some weight will ya?”
- “Is that so? Well, who made you Pope of this dump? Huh?”
- “What’re we, waiting for these guys? Hey Whitey, where’s your hat?”
- “I’ll bet you a hundred bucks you slice it into the woods.”
- “OK, you can owe me.”
- “Very funny. Why don’t you get yourself a real haircut? Here, take this.”
- “I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ’em you’re Jewish, okay?”
- “Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?”
- “Oh, it looks good on you though.”
- “Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.”
- “Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I’ve had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.”
- “Hey, loosen up, will ya? You’re a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?”
- “Hey, you scratched my anchor!”
- “Well, how about teams then, for twenty thousand? You can have Dr. Frankenputz…”
Czervik’s Views on Bushwood and Wealth
- “Country clubs and cemeteries are the biggest wasters of prime real estate!”
- “A member? Are you kidding? You think I’d join this crummy ‘snobatorium’? Why, this whole place sucks!”
- “That’s right. It sucks! The only reason I’m here is maybe I’ll buy it.”
- “You demand satisfaction? Well I’ll tell you what’s satisfying: cash. I’ll shoot you 18 holes for ten thousand bucks!”
Czervik’s Impatience and Exclamations
- “Let’s go, while we’re young!”
- “How are you, boys? Hey, we’re both starving. When do we eat?”
- “Hey, great!”
- “Hey! Can you make a Bullshot?”
Czervik’s Absurd and Humorous Moments
- “I’m no doorknob either, alright?”
- “No respect.”
- “That kangaroo stole my ball.”
- “I should have stayed home and played with myself!”
- “I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!”
- “Are you kiddin’? When I was your age, I would lug fifty pounds of ice up five, six flights of stairs!”
- “So what?”
- “So let’s dance!”
- “He called me a baboon, he thinks I’m his wife.”
- “Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!”