Ty Webb, the effortlessly cool and enigmatic golfer from Caddyshack, offers a unique blend of laid-back wisdom and quirky humor.
Ty Webb Quotes on Golf and Life
- “Oh, Judge, I don’t keep score.” – Ty Webb
- “By height.” – Ty Webb
- “I don’t play golf, for money, against people.” – Ty Webb
- “Remember Danny – Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.” – Ty Webb
- “I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.” – Ty Webb
- “Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You’re not being the ball Danny.” – Ty Webb
- “You’ve got to win this hole.” – Ty Webb
- “Me winning isn’t. You do.” – Ty Webb
Ty Webb Quotes on Philosophy and Perspective
- “Oh, Danny, this isn’t Russia. Is this Russia? This isn’t Russia, is it? I didn’t think so.” – Ty Webb
- “That’s what they said about Son of Sam.” – Ty Webb
- “You might say that.” – Ty Webb
- “Don’t be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote, ‘A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.’ He was a funny guy.” – Ty Webb
- “Thank you very little.” – Ty Webb
Humorous Ty Webb Quotes
- “Hey, don’t put yourself down. You’re not, uh… you’re not… you’re not good. You stink.” – Ty Webb
- “No one likes a tattletale, Danny… except of course, me.” – Ty Webb
- “What spelling did you use?” – Ty Webb
- “No, thank you. I don’t, I don’t, eh…” – Ty Webb
- “Carl, I really don’t do this very often.” – Ty Webb
- “Well, maybe one drag.” – Ty Webb
- “I guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself.” – Ty Webb
- “Great grammar.” – Ty Webb
- “No, I brought most of that stuff back with me from Vietnam.” – Ty Webb
- “[limping and patting his hip] No… homo. Much better now, though.” – Ty Webb
- “No… dolphin.” – Ty Webb
Ty Webb Quotes on Relationships
- “What do you mean?” – Ty Webb
- “Oh, l – play a lot of golf.” – Ty Webb
- “So what do you do?” – Ty Webb
- “Sure thing. Shoot, Timmy.” – Ty Webb
- “Danny.” – Ty Webb
- “I like you, Betty.” – Ty Webb
- “Danny, sir.” – Ty Webb
- “Danny.” – Ty Webb
- “I’m a very qualified acupuncturist.” – Ty Webb
- “Don’t even think about it!” – Ty Webb
- “I’m just going to eat these. But, I want you to know about it. It’s like acupressure but it’s acupuncture. The slightest – prick and you wouldn’t even know -…” – Ty Webb
- “No, I did not do that. See. You feel looser?” – Ty Webb
- “Actually, Judge, I think it’s up to us to pick our substitute.” – Ty Webb
- “Sonja Henie’s out. We’ll take Danny Noonan.” – Ty Webb
- “Would you like a drink? Tuna Colada, perhaps?” – Ty Webb
- “Anything, anything.” – Ty Webb
- “Let me just clean this up here.” – Ty Webb
- “Getting ready for the season.” – Ty Webb
- “You know what this is called in the East?” – Ty Webb
- “It’s the “Big Rub.” You’re very – very small-breasted. Just kidding, come on. I’ll work my way down. This is the lsle of Wight. Careful. I’ll move right down the Taconic Parkway, over to your clavula…” – Ty Webb
- “Will you get serious?” – Ty Webb
- “That’s a very “in” thing to say.” – Ty Webb
- “You take drugs, Danny?” – Ty Webb
- “Good.” – Ty Webb
- “You’re rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.” – Ty Webb
- “We have a pond in the back. We have a pool and a pond… Pond’d be good for you.” – Ty Webb
- “What’s wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.” – Ty Webb
- “I’m not quite sure where they are.” – Ty Webb
- “This your place, Carl?” – Ty Webb
- “It’s really… awful.” – Ty Webb
- “So, what brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you’re here?” – Ty Webb
- “Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out… You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean… You know who that guy was Danny?” – Ty Webb
- “Take one good guess.” – Ty Webb
- “Ha ha… No, that guy was Mitch Comstein, my roommate. He was a good guy.” – Ty Webb
- “Wait a minute guys… I don’t play golf… for money… against people.” – Ty Webb
- “I was born to love you / I was born to lick your face / I was born to rub you / but you were born to rub me first /… What do you say we take this out on the patio?” – Ty Webb