Here are some quotes from the memorable PROF. POOPYPANTS in Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie,
PROF. POOPYPANTS’ Grand Plans
“Oh, I hope you enjoyed your years of laughter and merriment… because they’re about to come to an end.”
“Attention everyone! Poopypants here with a little update on the Poopageddon. Due to the success of my plan thus far… I’ve decided to wipe out laughter on the entire planet.”
PROF. POOPYPANTS on Laughter
“Yeah, those are all really silly names, but there’s nothing funny about… Professor Pee-Pee Diarrheastein Poopypants Esquire!”
“Stop it! Stop laughing!”
“No, stop it! Stop laughing! You’re ruining everything!”
“Oh, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
PROF. POOPYPANTS’ Reactions
“What is happening?”
“What? My hair’s cool, I thought.”
“No! No, this can’t be happening!”
“AAH! It can’t be! Their Hahaguffawchuckleamaluses, they’re enormous! I need more power.”
“No, how could this be happening?”
“My Sizerator!”
“Alas! The final failure for Professor Poopypants.”
“Ow! Did you just slap me?”
“(Screams) Now look what you’ve done!”
PROF. POOPYPANTS’ Teaching Style
“Hiya, class. I’m your cool, new teacher. Not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda. Anyway, I’m just going to dive right in here. If there was one thing about this world that you could change… (spins the globe) what would it be?”
“But more importantly… if I had to change one thing about the world… it would be to get rid of… laughter.”
“This is the brain of an average child. Right here is the “thinking about candy” lopalus. The “fear of what’s under the bed” lobe. This is the “only thing I’ll eat is pizza, chicken nuggets, or buttered noodles” lobe. Right here is the “as soon as someone else has a toy… I want that toy” anterior lobe. And this… This is the Hahaguffawchuckleamalus. This funny little purple part holds our entire capacity for laughter. For years, I’ve tried to shrink it or cut it out entirely… but frustratingly, our survival seems dependent upon it.”