This collection aims to capture the essence of the film’s humor and observations on life, presented as Dirty Movie Movie Quotes.
Funny Quotes
“One day Im gonna make a movie with nothing but… jokes. A whole movie- nothing but jokes.”
“Jokes are funny.”
“If this doesn’t kill the taste, nothing will.”
“You don’t talk to me like that, you little bastard! Go to your room.”
“I don’t know, but it sure as shit ain’t pancakes.”
“Acne doesn’t come on your face till you’re 12.”
“Ill take the soup.”
“I guess I know where my hearing aid is.”
“What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? They can smell it, but they can’t eat it.”
“Even in a porno film the guy shows up with the pizza. We know the girl has ordered the pizza. We know he is there to deliver the pizza. There is a story.”
“Im just kidding. She’s dead.”
“What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.”
“How do you know when your wife is really dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.”
“Because he closes his eyes when I kiss him.”
“You can’t even see his lips move. That’s because he’s wearing a hood.”
“I was keeping it warm for you.”
“The first time I got laid. When was that? I don’t remember. I was drunk.”
“What do you get when you take a baby- Eh eh eh! I said no dead baby jokes.”
“What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic- you use a feather. Kinky- you use the whole chicken.”
“Surprised, little boy?”
“Wrong names. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.”
Life Quotes
“Move. He may be non-threatening to you, but your property values won’t know the difference.”
“These days if you make a racial slur in public, you know what they do? They send you to rehab.”
“Actors are whores. That’s one of the founding principles of this business.”
“I was so sorry to hear about your wife. We were all praying for her. Thanks. Thanks so much. At least she’s not suffering anymore. She was in that coma for so long.”
“I know Im going to hell for the things Ive done.”
“Well, it’s really not so bad. Do you like to get high? Love it. Well, you’re gonna love Mondays.”
“Losing the midget is gonna hurt us overseas.”
Inspirational and Motivational Quotes
“Well, this is how you get it back. You forget all this new media, viral video shit and you get back to the funny. Jokes are funny.”
“Look, even in a porno film the guy shows up with the pizza. We know the girl has ordered the pizza. We know he is there to deliver the pizza. There is a story.”