Below is a memorable Eight Legged Freaks Movie Quotes. This sci-fi horror-comedy is filled with both terrifying and funny moments, captured in these lines from the movie’s characters.
Quotes on Fear and the Unexplained
Harlan Griffith: Do you know fear? Do you know what it’s like to feel your heart beating in your chest so intensely… that you can’t even breathe?
Harlan Griffith: This is a story of… monsters… creatures… hideous nightmares that crawl in the night. I’ve seen them. I’ve seen them in visions. And you… will… too.
Harlan Griffith: For this is the only place in the country where I can tell the truth and they can’t get me.
Harlan Griffith: Right here at KFRD, freedom radio. The only source for the inside dope on government conspiracies, space aliens, and up-to-the-minute reports on when they plan to invade.
Harlan Griffith: It’s a hard life, spreading the truth. Never made Gandhi rich. Never made Mother Teresa rich. L. Ron Hubbard? Well, actually, he did pretty good for himself.
Funny Movie Quotes
Amos: Keep talking, buddy. Say something that has caffeine in it.
Parrot: I see dead people. I see dead people.
Joshua Taft: I call this an arac-attack. You get it?
Gladys: Do I look like a woman who isn’t sure?
Gladys: Well, a man in a flea circus don’t want to itch, but he still does.
Gladys: Lose the face fuzz before you do. Makes your mouth look like a stripper’s crotch.
Ashley Parker: You have the right to remain silent… Shut up, dork!
Ashley Parker: He’s pretty cute for an old fogy guy.
Deputy Pete: God forbid a cat should have to eat cat food. That cat is spoiled rotten. If he was a kid, we’d have to send him to military school.
Deputy Pete: Let’s lie and say it’s tuna.
Deputy Pete: Get your furry cat ass out of there.
Ashley Parker: Oh, that dirty talk just drives me nuts.
Bret: Damn it! I pissed my pants. Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little? I was just copping a feel.
Ashley Parker: Overreacting? God, you know, I can’t believe my mom was right about you. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is?
Harlan Griffith: You’re all ostriches with your heads stuck in the dirt, which just leaves your ass sticking up in the air. You’re inviting the aliens in, people. They have no choice but to probe you in the butt.
Floyd: Got to give a good deal. Can’t charge around here what a barber can charge in other places where they’ve got money. And jobs. Of course, some people don’t know a good deal when they see one.
Bret: I can’t help it. You just bring out the beast in me.
Deputy Pete: Why don’t you stomp them hills out flat and give yourself some room to grow before you start making brags around us.
Bob: First Emma leaves, now Sam’s got me doing spring cleaning. Can’t get any worse than this.
Harlan Griffith: Space aliens you believe. This you have a hard time with?
Quotes on Life and Reality
Gladys: We aren’t hiring. We’re laying off. We’re three months from a going-out-of-business sale. Got the picture?
Mayor Wade: Let’s face it. The town’s going broke, and they’re willing to pay us to relocate.
Mayor Wade: The only reason we’ve kept this town going is the hope that the McCormick mines could turn theirselves around and put everybody back to work. It is not happening. Old Man McCormick, God rest his soul… he’s dead, as dead as those mines.
Mayor Wade: Let’s be honest, Leon. The man was hallucinating.
Chris McCormick: You know those mines are filled with methane gas. Are you going to load that gun with toxic waste?
Sam Parker: Next time you put my daughter’s life in danger, I’ll show you exactly how little that means to me.
Sam Parker: 10 years and you have not changed a bit.
Chris McCormick: Good to see you again, Sam. Just like old times, huh?
Sam Parker: Hang on, Mike. Party’s over, gentlemen. Off the bikes.
Ashley Parker: Yeah, I just can’t get any privacy around here, you know?
Ashley Parker: I’m not going to stay here for the rest of my life and be like a trailer-trash sheriff, all right?
Sam Parker: Thanks for the flashback. I didn’t deserve that.
Quotes on Relationships
Ashley Parker: So it’s nice to see you still like men.
Ashley Parker: Oh, nothing. I just saw you staring at his butt when you handcuffed him, that’s all.
Ashley Parker: Oh, come on. Give them a break.
Ashley Parker: I do, I do, but I just… I don’t want to lose my virginity in the front seat of a truck.
Chris McCormick: Sam, I need to tell you something…
Chris McCormick: I just wanted to come by and apologize for yesterday.
Chris McCormick: Do you think we could meet somewhere, hook up? Not hook up. I mean, meet somewhere and you know, catch up on things?
Chris McCormick: Oh… Well, they’re for you, actually. I picked them myself.
Sam Parker: So what happened with you and Brian, anyway? He wasn’t exactly the faithful type.
Quotes on Scientific Discovery
Joshua Taft: Interesting.
Joshua Taft: It’s their diet. I made a discovery. These have been appearing in the pond for the past three days.
Joshua Taft: They’re like spider steroids.
Joshua Taft: As they grow, their appetites do too.
Joshua Taft: I’m going to make a fortune.
Joshua Taft: Yeah, look. Look how they kill. I call this an arac-attack. You get it?
Joshua Taft: See the male orb weavers compete for the female’s attention. They all try to give her the best present, you know, like bugs or, you know, rats, or the occasional parrot.
Joshua Taft: You see, the prey is cocooned alive so she can eat them in her nest. You know how much women like breakfast in bed.
Joshua Taft: The female of the species is three times as big as the male. Say hello to Consuela. She fills her prey with digestive acid to liquefy the internal organs so she can drink it from the inside out while it’s alive.
Mike Parker: I think it’s an exoskeleton of a male orb weaver’s pedipalps. It’s a spider’s leg.
Mike Parker: After taking careful measurements of the exoskeleton I found at Joshua’s, my program calculated that the spider was roughly the size shown here.
Joshua Taft: Crickets? They’re like spider steroids.