This ia a collection of memorable and meaningful quotes from the hilarious action-comedy, Beverly Hills Ninja Movie.
Funny Quotes
His heart’s like a flower. His determination’s like a tiger. He’s a fat fool and an embarrassment to ninjas everywhere.
Do not be fooled by the color of my skin.
Danger is my companion.
My highest grades were in stealth. Let me give you an example. Close your eyes, turn around and count to nine. When you open them, I will be gone. One, two… three, four… five, six… seven, eight… nine. Hello? Here I am.
Martin Tanley, attack me with your front gate… I come in the back door.
It sounds to me you are being led around by your short sword.
You don’t even have normal intuition.
My mission is clear. I must go to the hills of Beverly, find Sally Jones and save her. And prove, once and for all, that I am the Great White Ninja.
Empty your pockets, please.
A spy? A spy is like a gnat compared to a ninja.
The blackness of my belt is like the inside of a coffin… on a moonless night. That’s pretty black. It is a black art. And I, Haru, am the blackest of the black. Or, actually, the Great White, black art… blackest master.
You look like a pimp. Thank you. And as a pimp, I’ll blend into Beverly Hills like MSG into miso soup.
I thought we was homies. I thought you was my boy, my ninja. -I thought we was like this. -A ninja master knows best. You’re breaking rule number one, questioning my authority.
Your lies bounce off me like Ping-Pong balls.
Great White Ninja is on your case.
I’m one with the chicken.
You could try a phone book. A phone book. Then resume your quest.
I am one with the universe! I am Haru of the Takagure….
I am Haru of the Takagure dojo… and if you value your life, you will….
Did I say ninja? I meant ninny. Haru, you are such a ninny.
The ninja way is to visualize the straightness of the rope. It will begin to untie itself. Or a knife is good.
I am one with the universe. No, I am not… one with the universe!
We going like Morgan Freeman.
I cannot swim! Joey! We’re drifting! Something’s touching my face! Joey, these sea creatures! Help me! Head towards the mainland! Mainland? Yes, the mainland! The sea is foamy. You have wandered way off-course!
Consider yourself very lucky. You’ve lived 24 hours longer than anyone who’s betrayed me.
Only when I have ceased to breathe will I be dead.
I can climb. I can climb!
Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again. Oh, great. We’ve just lost five minutes.
Are we dead? You did it. -I did? -Yes.
Do not be fooled by the color of my skin. You’re a TV reporter. You’ve heard the legend of the Great Black Ninja. I haven’t. Is that you? Some say it is so.
Inspirational and Motivational Quotes
Believe in yourself, my son. I know you will succeed.
Though it will sadden me to see you leave… I am happy for you. I realize that I will be of better use… where they don’t have many great ninjas.
Whether you’re the chosen one or not… I’d choose to fight alongside you.
Quotes About Brotherhood and Family
I love my brother.
Gobei, I’ve always looked up to you and you’ve always looked out for me. But now it’s time I look out for myself.
There is no better father that a boy could have had.
No one messes with my brother!
Quotes About Love and Relationships
His heart’s like a flower.
She is as lovely as a dove.
Do not despair, Sally Jones. I will be ever-vigilant. I will be watching your every move… making sure that as the– Do not be afraid, my dove. I will be watching you.
Hurry, my dove!
My dove, hang on! In a few moments, you will be as free as a bird.
I will return with my dove to the land of opportunity… Beverly Hills.
Quotes About Ninja Philosophy
As a ninja… you are one with the universe.
Today, I am proud to be your sensei. This is that special time when I can say to you: You are a ninja. You can communicate with other ninjas… by projecting yourself onto the Plane of Enlightenment. Remember… on this plane… which can be shared by no other mortal… we can always contact each other wherever we may be.
You are observant as well as beautiful.
This ninja knows no fear.
Luck is with me… for this sacred shrine holds the ashes… of our fallen ninja warriors.
My eyes will be like the tentacles of a squid.
You are unable to tell truth from untruth. That is impossible. My ninja intuition tells me this.
You don’t have ninja intuition.
All my feelings tell me Sally Jones is in trouble. I must go to America to protect her.
The world is a dangerous place.
Use them only for necessities.
My identity must remain mysterious and my mission secret. I cannot reveal it to you. Why not? Because I would then have to kill you.
Always be on your guard.
Your foe’s back can quickly become his front.
The final technique for ripping a man’s head off… is by simply using your bare hands. This requires hard work and discipline… years, sometimes decades, to achieve. I suggest that you practice on chickens. Chicken? Ninja secret. Chickens.
A ninja master knows best.
A ninja knows when he’s in danger.
You must stay here. Tanley will be watching your every move. Especially your apartment. You need not worry. I will protect you with all of my being.
The ninja way is to visualize the straightness of the rope. It will begin to untie itself.
You may subject me to any torture you can think of… but a ninja does not talk.
It is in the spirit of harmony we meet here today. It is important to our community an agreement be reached.
It is your duty as a ninja. You just called me a ninja. Yes, I guess I did.
Using my perfect ninja sense memory… I will recreate the trip to Tanley’s warehouse.
So we have entered the serpent’s lair. Thank God I have a short sword.
I may not be the best ninja. I may not be one with the universe. But I’ll tell you this: No one messes with my brother!
Believe it or not, there were times when I doubted myself. What a fool I was.
Whether I am or am not the Great White Ninja… you made me believe in myself.