Memorable lines from the Blank Check (film)
Funny Quotes
“Hand & Foot, all the way.”
“- Okay. We’ll use this. – Yeah. – Hey! That’s my life’s savings! – Oh, consider yourself our silent partner. – Yeah, say somethin’ and you’re dead.”
“- Butt to face. – Who said that?”
“You don’t get out much, do you, Dad?”
“Welcome to Fun Land. Fun, fun, fun for everyone.”
“- Gimme 50. It’s my birthday. – Fifty.”
“How can I save money if I don’t have any? A penny saved is a penny earned.”
“So I can pay to have Ralph and Damien knocked off.”
“What a rip-off. It’s a check for nothing.”
“- Juice? – No, thanks. I’m not thirsty.”
“Regular. That’s cute.”
“Hate for somethin’ to have to happen to ’em.”
“What do you want, a million bucks? Well, as a matter of fact, I do.”
“You tell Mr. Quigley that he hasn’t lost his touch.”
“- What’s wrong with you, little boy? – I’m sorry. Don’t be a-messin’ up a view as good as all that.”
“The kid with the backpack! The kid with the backpack! Backpack! Backpack! The kid!”
“Applesauce, what’s with the long face, my man?”
“- What kind of hustle is this? And what’s with your voice, pal? Sore throat-itis.”
“- Top that, sucker. – plus closing costs.”
“You probably won’t live to enjoy the cash.”
“My name is Preston– Uh, Bingo. Macintosh. My name is Macintosh.”
“Mr. Macintosh says you can never be too paranoid, Dad.”
“The blood’s rushin’ to my head.”
“Man’s name is Macintosh. – Macintosh? Mm-hmm. He just moved here. – Apparently loaded. – Apparently.”
“Juice, see anybody that looks like him? Oh, yeah. He looks like him. Uh, she looks like him right there, and way back over there, uh, there go his little twin brother.”
“You give me one picture and expect me to find him out of all these kids? You must be crazy. I’m gonna get on the water slide. I’m startin’ to sweat.”
“- He says he knows ya, boss. – Oh, well, uh, just– just throw him out.”
“You are little sushi man. – Sushi man down. Big boy with rolly-polly sushi roll.”
“Why are you dressed like a game show host?”
“So much for Plan 442.”
“Lucky dog.”
“They– They look like lobsters only… weenie.”
“Mr. Macintosh has a million dollars. You know, a million dollars doesn’t buy all that much these days.”
“No, he’s American. Very secretive.”
“Technically, no, but, he’s been thinking a lot about you lately.”
“Never saw this kid before in my life. This is a waste of time.”
“Holy smokes.”
“I don’t believe this!”
“Don’t get wet.”
“Get us out.”
“Oh, my god!”
“Where’s all the kids, huh? Carl, it’s late at night. I mean, all the little boys and girls are tucked in bed. – What do you expect?”
“Oh, no, you can make it disappear. You just can’t get it back, right?”
“If y’all want a kid so bad, – there go one right over there.”
“Oh, I’ll race ya to the limo! – What? Okay, I’ll race ya. – I’ll race ya to the limo!”
“Open the door. I’m freezing!”
“He got away again! I don’t believe this! He got away again!”
“Know what they call me downtown? The babe-meister. Think about it.”
“Look at this bod.”
“Course, you know, you got a bod now that’s of a– of a Greek god, really; think about it.”
“Those pythons’d take a guy’s head off. Seriously. You’re buff. But we’re gonna get you chiseled, okay?”
“I’m havin’ a vision here of a– of a date, the perfect date for you guys. – Uh, Steak Heaven!”
“My little friend, you really have the hots for this one, huh?”
“You are a date and a half, pal.”
“You are little sushi man. – Sushi man down. Big boy with rolly-polly sushi roll.”
“Then they chase around and around. Oh the way, falls down. Splat.”
Life and Money Quotes
“He who has the gold makes the rules.”
“You gotta think big, Preston.”
“A penny saved is a penny earned.”
“Money.”
“Eleven dollars… at 3.45% interest. Your account will reach none million dollars… in 342,506 years. I’m stuck here forever.”
“My house. My rules. My own house.”
“I’m your asset. I’m a big asset.”
“Our money is your money.”
“Rates are great now, and you get a toaster. I don’t need a toaster.”
“Before I went away, I put aside a little nest egg.”
“These bills are marked consecutively. -They’d trace these in a minute.”
“Money– money laundering is very difficult these days.”
“You still do it, though, don’t you?”
“That’s a good-looking family right there. You’re not gonna hurt them, are you? – Hate to have to.”
“How do you want to do this?”
“I want new bills. We’re back in the S&L business, Biderman.”
“This offer is so much less than our asking price. Well, Mrs. Appleton, it really is a buyer’s market.”
“I bought your pad. You got some cash. It’s a beautiful thing. Su casa is soon to be mi casa. You know what I’m sayin’?”
“One sixty.”
“One seventy right now, cash. I walk away. You take it or leave it right now.”
“One eighty plus closing costs.”
“One ninety, darlin’.”
“Two hundred.”
“Two ten.”
“Just to be safe, make that three.”
“Three hundred it is.”
“Are you out of your mind? We had a deal here. Are you realtors just a bunch of crooks? Is that it? What’s goin’ on with you people?”
“I have an offer on the table of 300. – Thousand. – Uh, we’ll take it. – Sold.”
“You probably won’t live to enjoy the cash.”
“Well, congratulations, Mr. Macintosh. You have a house.”
“Yes! I’m rich! Yeah! Whoo, yeah! Yes! Money! Money!”
“That was my nest egg. That’s all I had to start a new life. I worked hard to steal that money, Biderman!”
“I need money, baby I need some money I just need a few”
Family Quotes
“In this family, industry gets rewarded.”
“You know the golden rule. – He who has the gold makes the rules.”
“When I was your age, – I had my own business. – Cleaning wheels. I was pullin’ in…”
“Always tellin’ the same story. You got that?”
“It’s important to get out of your room more. – Our room.”
“My house. My rules.”
“Until further notice, you’re grounded.”
“My house. My rules.”
Life Quotes
“Out of the way, stick boy.”
“This is my room. Was. Now it’s also the world headquarters of Hand & Foot, Incorporated.”
“You guys aren’t gonna make a dime.”
“Industry gets rewarded.”
“You need some cash? – Nah, we got a bunch of change.”
“It’s not fair. Why can’t I have anything?”
“A penny saved is a penny earned.”
“I’m having a bad day.”
“Lights out up there! – Why? – My house. My rules.”
“Kid, was I the one who parked there?”
“Kid, talk to me.”
“I thought we understood about taking care of our valuables.”
“You’re on thin ice as it is about the bike.”
“You know what I want? What I want is my own house. My rules. My money.”
“Someone thinks this is some kind of game.”
“How did you run into Mr. Quigley? – I-I didn’t. He ran into me. Ah. Brilliant. Brilliant.”
“Stay away from the racetrack.”
“Don’t be a-messin’ up a view as good as all that.”
“Now you know you oughta be in school.”
“The eagle has landed.”
“The horse is in the barn.”
“The chicken is in the pot.”
“I don’t know nothin’ about no eagles landin’ and all of that. I don’t know nothin’ about no horses runnin’ through the barn. And I certainly don’t know nothin’ about no… chickens bein’ in a pot, you understand?”
“I’m tired of tellin’ you this, but if you don’t give me the money for that check, I guarantee you… there’s a b*llet with your name on it in this chamber.”
“It really is a buyer’s market.”
“Too bad I can’t say the same for you two.”
“Su casa is soon to be mi casa. You know what I’m sayin’?”
“What kind of hustle is this?”
“You probably won’t live to enjoy the cash.”
“You’re not gonna believe this.”
“I worked hard to steal that money, Biderman!”
“Now wait a minute.”
“I said I didn’t write it!”
“Calm down. I’ve got a surveillance photo of the boy. W-W-We’ll find him in no time.”
“I’d know him anywhere.”
“So where you gonna find the kid, Mr. Family Man? – Newspapers.”
“They– They– They have listings. Uh, uh, family activities where th– uh, wh-where, you know, things where kids go.”
“You’re gonna help me find him, you understand? Dead or alive.”
“The money laundering is definitely on again.”
“You make sure you-know-who stays grounded. – And he goes to bed early.”
“Nobody famous in–“
“The boss doesn’t like me takin’ baseball cards as payment, so if you wanna ride in this, you need some buckaroos, buckarinis. Some moolah, some dinero, some money–“
“Good to see ya.”
“Hop in. Go ahead.”
“So, where to, boss? Well, Henry, I wanna go buy some stuff.”
“Where does he get his money? Well, he doesn’t get it. He just has it.”
“He– He never had a real childhood, so now that he’s really, really rich, he can have all the fun that he couldn’t have when he was a kid.”
“You know. So, he didn’t have any fun when he was a kid, but now he’s old and he’s got money, you’re a kid havin’ the fun for him now that he couldn’t have when he was a kid.”
“Nice wheels for a kid. Yeah. Says it belongs to his boss. Guy named Macintosh.”
“When are we gonna see Biderman?”
“You know, I’ve got work to do too, you know.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“What a mess. This is absolute madness.”
“The security system is all in place.”
“We appreciate Mr. Macintosh’s business.”
“What’s with all the security? Mr. Macintosh says you can never be too paranoid, Dad.”
“I work for him. He’s paying me.”
“You mean you haven’t met him? – No, I haven’t met him. – He’s heard about you. – Really? Yeah, about work and stuff. Really good things.”
“His stuff is blocking our driveway.”
“Would you clear a path, please? Get a move on it!”
“All set, Dad.”
“I don’t feel good about being here. – People may get the wrong idea.”
“How do you think I felt when you gave away my million dollars, huh?”
“You give me one picture and expect me to find him out of all these kids? You must be crazy.”
“I’m startin’ to sweat.”
“I came by to see Mr. Macintosh. Uh, no, he’s in a meeting. That’s okay. I’ll wait. I just really need to see him.”
“He’s in meetings all day. – All day? – Swamped.”
“I missed ya at the bank. I thought you were gonna come by and see me… about opening up an account.”
“This is where you work? – Not too shabby. – Comfortable.”
“Do you still want to open up an account with me? -Yeah.”
“Looks like you fell into some money, huh? – I make a living.”
“He knows a good man when he sees one.”
“Will he be opening up an account with us? – Uh, maybe.”
“I’d love to meet him. – How’s tonight? – Uh, tonight. – What’s tonight? – Tonight’s Wednesday. Wednesday. Wednesday. I’m sorry. He’s busy.”
“I handle all his financial affairs.”
“Not all of them, but I could tell you a lot about him, sort of like a pre-meeting.”
“Hasn’t complained yet.”
“I’ll come by around 8:00.”
“I could send a car for you.”
“It’s a date then.”
“I’ve never been on a date.”
“Women love a great body.”
“Why are you dressed like a game show host?”
“You’re still grounded.”
“Macintosh may have a pile of money, but he doesn’t decide… when my son is or isn’t grounded.”
“Your job is to be grounded.”
“What do you know about Plan 442? Well, it’s the investment plan you’ve been working on. – Your perspectus. – Prospectus.”
“What are you doing going through my work?”
“I told Mr. Macintosh… about your Plan 442, and he was very, very interested.”
“Yep, I promised him I’d bring a copy of it tonight and show it to him. But I didn’t want to tell you just in case you got your hopes all up and, uh–“
“Let me get you a fresh copy of the perspectus. – No, I’ll get a copy of it, sweetheart. – Prospectus.”
“I don’t drive yet.”
“You’ll ruin everything! He has a date tonight, and he’s very nervous about it.”
“I guess I can see him first thing in the Oh, I don’t know, Dad. I mean, uh, might be up pretty late. This woman. Lucky dog.”
“This place is great. Mr. Macintosh has been eating here for years. Oh, yeah? I thought he just moved here.”
“Compliments of the chef for Mr. Waters… and his lovely guest.”
“They– They look like lobsters only… weenie.”
“Mr. Macintosh wanted you to have this too.”
“This is beautiful.”
“I can’t accept this from you. But it’s from Mr. Macintosh.”
“Just a little business gift. I mean, it’s deductible, isn’t it?”
“I’m not really sure, but it’s way too expensive.”
“What exactly does he do, anyway? Oh, little of this and little of that. – You know. – No, I’m afraid I don’t.”
“Is he an entrepreneur? No, he’s American. Very secretive.”
“He– He has some questions for you too. Okay. sh**t.”
“Are you married? – No. What– What’s the shortest guy you ever dated? Mmm, I’m not really sure. – The youngest? – You know, these are pretty personal questions.”
“Mr. Macintosh is very interested in you.”
“He, uh– He’s never met anybody like you before.”
“He’s never met me before period.”
“Technically, no, but, he’s been thinking a lot about you lately.”
“Do you like hamburgers? – I love hamburgers.”
“What’s so special about this place? – You’ll see.”
“Okay. – You gonna tell me? – Come with me.”
“- Where are you taking me? – You’ll see. – See what?”
“Okay, get in the middle. – Here? – Okay, ready? Five, four, three, two, one. – Holy smokes.”
“Okay! Okay, now come over. – Okay. Okay, now grab onto me. – I don’t believe this! Okay. Okay, now give it some room. – Don’t get wet. – Get us out.”
“Hey, where are you?”
“This was a great idea, Biderman.”
“What I expect is when I give someone a million dollars, and I come back a day later, I find the million dollars; that’s what I– – That’s what I expect!”
“Carl, I’m not a magician.”
“Oh, no, you can make it disappear. You just can’t get it back, right?”
“If y’all want a kid so bad, – there go one right over there.”
“That’s the little boy from the bank!”
“Go get him !”
“Oh, I’ll race ya to the limo!”
“I got the door for ya!”
“I’m freezing!”
“He got away again!”
“This was the most fun. I haven’t done anything like this since I was a little kid. – Me neither.”
“Thank you so much.”
“When can I see you again?”
“Well, I really have to spend some time with my job, you know, right now.”
“I’m having a party. O-On Friday. Can you come? It’s for Mr. Macintosh. Um, it could be for your business, sort of.”
“Mr. Macintosh will really be there? – Uh-huh. – Um, i-it’s his birthday.”
“Okay. Well, great. It’s a date then.”
“It was really fun.”
“I had such a good time. – Me too.”
“It’s been a pleasure.”
“So you’re havin’ a party Friday. Oh, yeah, it’s Mr. Macintosh’s birthday. Oh, I thought you said it was your birthday Friday. Well, we’re gonna have a joint party, – for the both of us.”
“Oh, well, so it’s a good thing it worked out… that your birthdays are around the same time.”
“Hey, you wanna move that horse? Come on. What is this, Bonanza? Let’s go.”
“Home at last.”
“My pleasure.”
“You know what you got, pal? – What? – S-T-Y-L-E. Style.”
“Macintosh and I are having the biggest birthday party ever.”
“He’s working for Macintosh.”
“They’re working for Macintosh too.”
“Have you met Macintosh? – No, I thought you met him. -No, I haven’t met him. -Well, I haven’t met him either.”
“Mr. Macintosh wants me to get plenty of practice.”
“Macintosh is watching.”
“We’ve still never seen him.”