These Dr. Dolittle Movie Quotes offer insights into various aspects of life, humor, and relationships as seen through the unique lens of a doctor who can talk to animals.
Funny Quotes
“Why do dogs sniff each other’s butts? Well, that’s just kinda our way of shaking hands. If you really wanna get a sense of who somebody is, you gotta sniff their butt.”
“Son. Stop talkin’ to the dog. She doesn’t understand a word.”
“Leave this boy, devil man. Go now, Satan. Take the serpent’s voices with you. I command you to come outta this boy! Come on outta this boy! God said it! Come on! I’m gonna bite ya.”
“Paprika? Paprika Dolittle. That has a nice ring to it. Not Dolittle. Just… Paprika.”
“Really? I think Paprika sounds like a seasoning.”
“Qualms are bad.”
“Bagel chips!”
“Back off or you’ll find your nuts in a tree.”
“Easy now. Slow your butt down!”
“Shut your little furry mouth right now!”
“What do you think barking is? An involuntary spasm?”
“I’m not Italian and I’m not pork. Grandpa, did Daddy learn how to be bossy from you?”
“Is it all right if I wait in the bed naked?”
“Yeah, a big, nasty owl.”
“They’re very dangerous.”
“No, they’re not!”
“They are. They can poke your eye out.”
“Can I get tuna in oil instead of water?”
“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?”
“I’m nasty!”
“Hey, buddy, my old lady asks, I been eatin’ trash all night. You dig? Yaaggh!”
“You broke Mr Stinky, I think.”
“I’ll hit you so hard you’ll see ten more of me.”
“It already smells like ten more of you!”
“Stick ’em up, you little rat!”
“Hey, come here, you gerbil!”
“Come here and say that, you four-eyed dufus biped! I’ll get bubonic on your freak.”
“What if I take that light bulb, put it between your butt cheeks… …and make a rodent lamp out of you?”
“Bonehead!”
“Dead dog walkin’.”
“When are we gonna get some decent chow in here?”
“Kids are great(!) What the hell is goin’ on?”
“Maybe you’re just weird.”
“Shut up. You’re a dog. Dogs can’t talk.”
“Lie down. Lie down! Lie down, Chauncy! – He’s deaf. – I’m not. I just can’t stand listening to her.”
“Tell him to get away from my butt.”
“Is it just me, or is he hovering around my butt a lot?”
“Seriously, could you tell him my butt is great?”
“Look, look, I was faking it, OK? I feel fine. Just don’t let him stick that…”
“I’m gonna swallow it. And I don’t mean in my mouth.”
“It’s headin’ in. It’s goin’ south for the winter.”
“There’s a thermometer. It’s in my butt.”
“Buttjust swallowed it.”
“I’d like to go in manually.”
“Oh, my Lord! Oh! Oh, this is not good. Oh, Lassie go home!”
“If I were gonna get a pet, I wouldn’t get one as annoying as you.”
“A little girl once called me ‘Please, Mommy, not him.’”
“Does he do any tricks? – He does a neat trick with a thermometer.”
“Not one quack. Not one quack.”
“Does Brad Pitt need a goat?”
“He’s a self-hating pigeon.”
“Nobody likes a drunk monkey.”
“I’ll pee on your carpet.”
“It’s very irritating, this ball thing.”
“Shut up and throw it.”
“Am I alone here? Am I by myself? Am I in another universe?”
“Throw the ball!”
“He threw the ball! Oh, he threw the ball! I’ll get it! Hold on! I’ll get it, I’ll get it! I love you! I love you! You threw the ball.”
“You can’t save ’em all, Hasselhoff.”
“Holy road apples! I can see! No deskjob for me.”
“Look, a doughnut shop. Wow, what a night!”
Quotes About Life and Perspective
“And after a while all he could remember… …was that deep down there was something missing. And, just like his dad wanted, he grew up to be a regular guy. You know… miserable.”
“You know, it is not healthy for you to spend all your time with your experiments.”
“You sell, they own you.”
“This will be good for us. I am so tired of that rap. It’s always for us. But sometimes I don’t know who ‘us’ is.”
“Us is us. Me and you and Maya and Charisse.”
“Lisa, the more money you have, the more time you can spend with your family.”
“Meanwhile you’ll just have to make do with this fancy sports car you always wanted.”
“You’re gonna be pleasantly surprised, that’s what.”
“What’s happenin’ to me?”
“This is a dream. I’m dreaming right now.”
“The whole woods are talking about you, you know.”
“What’s happenin’ to me? You’re gonna be pleasantly surprised, that’s what.”
“One day you’ll understand that sometimes your parents do know what they’re doing.”
“When a bird hatches, the first thing it sees, it bonds with it. I want it to be me.”
“Don’t focus on somethin’ so close. Don’t look at the lines.”
“Everything’s goin’ by so fast.”
“You mind if I have a little privacy, please? Oh, yeah, but it’s fine when people watch us do it, huh? Fine to turn on the garden hose.”
“When I get excited I make all kinds of sounds.”
“You’re trying to destroy my life, all of you. Aren’t you?”
“The reason you’re up this time of night is cos you spend too much time drinkin’ liquids. You’re old enough to be able to hold it in.”
“This is the house of love!”
“East coast, west coast, let’s unite! Is Brooklyn in the house?”
“Don’t be ashamed. It happens to most men occasionally.”
“You’re probably under a lot of pressure.”
“He’s too good to eat with the rest of us when the old people feed us in the park.”
“I happen to be attracted to orange breasts.”
“She sits on that nest all day long, and she just gets a little crazy.”
“Poor equilibrium may mean an ear infection.”
“I’m a social drinker. Ha-ha! Very social.”
“I think you’re wasted.”
“You have a drinking problem. I suggest that you stop drinking.”
“I think you may be an alcoholic.”
“You’re suffering from obsessive-compulsive behaviour.”
“Whenever you want the ball, think about something else.”
“Can you relax your mind? This is the way it works. You’re the person. You throw the ball. I’m the dog. I get it.”
“It’s very irritating, this ball thing.”
“Am I in another universe?”
“You can’t save ’em all, Hasselhoff.”
“When word gets around…”
“And now, on the day I end it all… …I’d like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I’d like to leave Jack the midget… nothing.”
“See if you land on your feet, road kill.”
“Why don’t you bloodsuckin’ vermin take a break?”
“Goodbye, cruel world.”
“One of the few animals that enjoy that kind of thing.”
“I’m in a lot of pain and I’m gonnajump.”
“I don’t need a doctor. I need a miracle.”
“I’m a train wreck! I have headaches, nausea… The worst thing is this double vision.”
“Ah, what’s the use? It’s not like anybody cares about tigers.”
“Now stop. You’re being silly. There have been lots of lovable tigers.”
Inspirational and Motivational Quotes
“Maybe it’s my destiny. And maybe it’s yours to be the one tiger everybody remembers.”
“Why else would I be here talkin’ to you?”
“Are you gonna let me help you?”
“If I can’t help, you can eat me and Lucky.”
“I will take you back to the circus.”
“But don’t think I wasn’t gonnajump, because I was!”
“Hope you’re a better doctor than you are a singer.”
“Those were the most exciting times to me. It was like… you felt like you were making a difference, you know?”
“And last night I had to treat some… some emergencies. And I was challenged, and it was difficult… …and I got the same kind of rush I had back then. I felt like I was doin’ somethin’, like I was makin’ a difference.”
“I started thinkin’ that here I’m not giving my patients the right amount of attention.”
“You did yourjob just by pretending you were listening. It was very helpful.”
“Have I read your book? I sleep with your book next to your bed. It’s my bible.”