Thoughtful Lines

A collection of memorable lines from the beloved teen movie, Drive Me Crazy.

Funny Quotes

• I’m a freak, aren’t I?
• No, you’re just very… focused.
• For your interview today? It’s a little slutty.
• I think Brad has better taste than that.
• Junior high happened.
• We’re doing this to protest sheep.
• Man, look at ’em down there. Yeah, drink your mochaccinos. Sing along to Céline Dion.
• Sprinklers.
• Suspension. I’m dead.
• Not you, Ednasi. These two recidivists.
• Come on. Sprinklers with orange water. If anything’s to blame, it’s school spirit.
• Well, it was on the inside.
• I said Brad has all the appeal of toast.
• There’s a difference.
• Look, it’s Designated Dave.
• One day we’re gonna look up in homeroom and “Wake Up, Time Zone” will be… Vivisection.
• Closer is louder!
• You think you’re so James Dean, Chase. But all this so-called rebellion… it’s a joke.
• Are you stoned?
• Dad, until you come in here and see a black light and felt Led Zeppelin poster, rest easy.
• Yo, rise and shine. We’ve got dates.
• Gotta go. What? Wait, wait. I thought you weren’t gonna do that “safe ride” shit this year.
• Dude, colleges look at extracurricular activities, man.
• Dave, you’re in. That’s not why you do it.
• Oh, yeah? Then why?
• You wanna know why? It’s the same reason you’re the manager of the basketball team… you wanna be one of them.
• Who is this “them”? People too drunk to drive?
• You’re with your two best friends waiting for girls, one of them quite possibly Princess Leia, and you wanna leave so that some jock will pat you on the head.
• Puke on my leather interior? I got your ride taken care of.
• Prince Charming is a dick. Bring on the frogs. Ribbit!
• Hey, perhaps we could get you some fries with that. Yeah. Fries, a Coke and… What about a milk shake? Get yourself a Happy Meal.
• Seniors rule!
• Turn that thing off or I’m gonna go Sean young on your ass!
• I think she means Sean Penn. That’s good. Sean young scares me.
• Yuck it up, clowns.
• Yeah, if you enjoy my humiliation, Monday at Time Zone should be a real “hootenin.” It’s hootenanny.
• Moron.
• Refers to himself as the de-virginator. Give it up, bonehead. Princess Leia ain’t coming.
• You’re drunk. – I’m desperate. Well, when you put it that way.
• You’re not offended, so don’t pretend to be. My guess… you’re intrigued.
• There’s the rampant homophobia, no pep rallies for the debate team, which leads to the greater issue, I’m sure, of the highly fascist nature of pep rallies in general, speeches, saluting banners. I think you see where I’m going with this.
• Nice hat.
• Hey, this is funnier than you dressing up for last year’s Junior Miss Pageant, man.
• Well, this is real convincing. I’m a walking punch line. But who gets the last laugh?
• Shit. Hurry, Dave. I promised Ray we’d take him to work.
• Explain what? – This. What are you trying to pull? Nothing. It’s a big-ass mistake.
• He still thinks I’m joking.
• Did I just hear something about extremes? It’s real extreme, all right.
• Time for a change.
• Who knows who I am? I do.
• So, what are we burning today? Fields of Jasmine for improved circulation? Strawberry Explosion for brain power?
• Protests, clove cigarettes, bongos… whatever it is you beatniks do. – We prefer “disaffected youth.”
• The monopoly on pep is definitely held by Time Zone’s status whores. – We prefer socially non-retarded.
• You really had me going in there. “Go! Fight! Win!” I about choked. I bow down to the king of scams.
• I’d like to thank the Academy. Thank you. Thank you.
• I thought you had to have a letterjacket for that. That’s just to nail cheerleaders.
• Bad-ass ride, Chase. Yeah, every time Halley’s Comet flies, my dad lets me take it out of the garage. I had to leave a spleen on deposit.
• Word on the street, she sleeps in a casket.
• “Word on the street”? Yeah, the chick’s evil. Evil’s a bit strong. Limited bullshit tolerance is more like it, but you’re a guy. You wouldn’t understand.
• Honk your horn, Hambone!
• Well, when guys compete, it’s overt. You know, ringing a bell with a sledgehammer or loogie chucking, the size of your engine, whatever.
• Well, when girls compete, it’s art. And Alicia, she’s an artist.
• Can you believe that the assistant manager of our basketball team actually has his own “X-Files” website?
• His name’s Dave. What? You know, man. Designated Dave. You know, the safe ride guy, right? No, it’s not Designated Dave. It’s plain Dave. No “designated.” Just Dave. All right, plain Dave it is.
• Well, if the tiara fits…
• So you’re calling Dave “Tiny Tim”? – Don’t do that.
• Nipple ring, cool. Take your top off. Let’s get a look at it.
• Get a room.
• Got more email from Daughter Judy. The same one who stood you up? She said she was at the other Nyble flick. We were at the wrong theater.
• And that’s what the Tooth Fairy was just saying.
• Date… series of activities, or date… person? – Person. – Activities. – The person. – All right.
• Anyone got a stun gun? Hello, Nicole?
• Well, they are a cute couple.
• She orders dessert, and she can be ready in 10 minutes.
• Well, we will have to change that “bullshit” to “bull.” Well, then use “pretensions.”
• He’s too tall for you. Oh, Mom.
• Dickweed.
• Better yet, I’m offering you a chance to participate. What is it? My man, you’ve gotta see this to believe it.
• He primps. Eddie takes longer to get ready to go out than I do. And he gets mad at me for making him wait? But I do my share of waiting, too, all right.
• “Another tequila shot?”
• Chase Hammond… big hands, big feet, you know?
• When you’re 40 pounds overweight and your last name’s Vine, it doesn’t take people long to land on a nickname. Your parents named you “Dee Vine”? No, Dee’s a contraction. I changed it myself. And no one said anything? You should go into politics.
• “Oh, yeah, so and so started calling me Dee.” Just kept attributing it to whoever wasn’t around and pretty soon, well, here I am. Dee Vine. And now Miss Time Zone.
• Weird? His family seems so normal. You’d never guess they belong to one of those doomsday cults. Are you serious?
• Nicole, better grab Captain Kangaroo. I swear, I can’t take him anywhere.
• Burn it. You said… you said you hated me, and there was something in there about how the only way you’d ever touch me again was if you came down with leprosy. Yeah, sorry about that. Don’t be. I deserved it.
• So, did you teach Chase to jump through fiery hoops yet? Balance a ball on his nose? I’m still working on matching socks.
• I finally downloaded the original “Space Invaders.” I’m talking quality 1981 graphics. We gotta play tonight, man. Yeah, I don’t know. I guess. Let’s see what Chase wants to do.
• So, this is the last pre-centennial event for us. We’re in the home stretch.
• So where’s Kitty? – Kathy. Right, Kathy. I haven’t seen her here tonight. She said we had different beliefs. And that was it. Can you believe that? I mean, I’m Lutheran.
• Oh, yeah. Right. Too bad. What’s too bad? Well, you know, that you’re taken. I mean, who could have known that underneath all that rebellion

Love and Relationship Quotes

• Seriously, you two used to do everything together. What happened? Junior high happened.
• Why hasn’t he asked me yet?
• All I’m saying is that there’s a process. Sure, it’s not written down, but I have given all the appropriate signs, and Brad knows the rules.
• Scheming socialite snags dream date.
• We’re breaking up, aren’t we? I just think that we’re headed in different directions. That’s all.
• Adonis jock falls hard for rival spirit head. Translation? The cheerleader from Apex, the one he landed on last week in the game. The slut who pretended she couldn’t get out of his way? That’s the one. He loves her. Love. Like I care.
• I’ve never kissed another girl. I’ve never kissed Chase Hammond at the Skate Palace in sixth grade. Chase Hammond? I never did it with anything requiring batteries.
• There are rules, you know? – Rules? – Rules. – What rules? Seniors rule! You don’t send Designated Dave to ask if I’ll go with you if you don’t plan on following through with the offer. I was going to. I was going to. It’s just that… – He just… – Shut up! I don’t know. I… I fell in love.
• High school love is for saps, Brad, or haven’t you heard?
• Now I’m left alone with the embarrassment and alienation of having to go stag to one of the biggest nights of our lives? Not very likely. I might as well skip it.
• Take me to centennial, Chase.
• We can save each other from disgrace. Each other? What’s in it for me? If you have to ask, you’re not as smart as you think you are.
• And finally, it sucks because when you break up with someone, you can’t escape them, and it kills you to see them every day.
• If you really wanna get Dulcie back, it’s gonna require some severe measures.
• Listen, Chase, to make an impact, you have to go to extremes. Let’s do it.
• Well, when Chase and I got out of the car the other night, we kind of decided we’d go together. Chase? My Chase? I got it.
• Can you think of anything that would make Dulcie freak out more than me with “Miss School Spirit” Nicole Maris?
• Don’t let Nicole Maris change you. I’ll be all right.
• We have to look chummy, remember?
• From my point of view, it’s okay to look like I’m going to the dance with a friend. It’s not okay to look like I paid a guy to take me. I could be getting paid? Yeah!
• Maybe. Or maybe you haven’t given up. – Given up? – A perfect night with a dream date. Brad? Over it. So, this Chase Hammond thing… he’s just this good friend we never knew you had? Right. Who knows? Maybe more.
• It’s cute and all making nice with your neighbor, but you’re taking it way above and beyond. Above and beyond what? – The boy cleans up nicely. – Pretty shocking?
• You’re an item. – Item? Where do you get your news? Mothers and daughters should confide, honey. We saw a band. We’re going to a dance. I don’t think he’s such a good idea, Nicole. – Why not? – You’re neighbors, for one thing. – And another thing is… – Yeah? He’s too tall for you. Oh, Mom. It’ll be okay.
• So what’s this I hear about you and Chase Hammond? What do you hear?
• You two make a very, very cute couple, but I guess you hear that all the time. Why do you care? I don’t. You’re welcome to him. I used to think he had some… I don’t know… some social consciousness.
• I didn’t expect you to fall in love. I didn’t expect you to fall into the Gap.
• Falling in love with the girl next door.

Life and Identity Quotes

• I’m so wired. – More so than usual? Way more.
• I’ve got the entire thing planned out, every detail.
• You didn’t sleep? You should have slept.
• Exactly. So what do you think of my mom’s red halter?
• Thanks a lot. You’re a lifesaver.
• Time flies. Seems like only yesterday they were practically living together in that old tree house.
• Something this big only comes along once every hundred years. We’re making the most of it so you can make the most of it.
• Why are we doing this again? – As a protest. – Of what? – People, right? – Sheep.
• General herding mentality.
• We’re making the most of it so you can make the most of it.
• Tradition. Everyone’s invited.
• Watch. You’ll see.
• I just don’t see why you won’t come with us tomorrow night. – To ALF? – Come on, it’s right up your alley. I told you already. I’m not interested. Drop it. Look, you go, okay? Knock yourself out. I don’t get you. I mean, you spend half your life in detention protesting Hanson or the constipated hitter… – Designated hitter. Whatever. But when it comes to something really important… What?
• You didn’t get out of bed all day. Then wouldn’t the correct question be, “Son, are you ill?” – Are you? – No. Are you stoned? You could tell me, you know. I’d be cool. Yeah, I know you’d be cool. And what is that supposed to mean? It means I’ve read your yearbook. “Onward through the fog. Light up and party. Have sex, be free, we’re the class of ’73.” Are you stoned?
• You should know that half the party now believes you have a part-time job at a gentlemen’s cabaret. Like it matters. Drive me home. You gotta be kidding.
• There are rules, you know?
• You need to sleep on it, get back to me.
• We can’t do this halfway. You know, if we expect people to buy it, it’s gotta feel real through and through. That makes sense.
• To start, you can’t wear anything you own. Probably not. Not and… we need to clean you up. How up are we talking about?
• Listen, Chase, to make an impact, you have to go to extremes. Let’s do it.
• Hey. Look, I just want you to know that I know you’re screwed. About the dance, I mean. And, well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that if it comes down to panic time and you still don’t have a date, and you’re, like, really desperate, well, I’d take you. I’d be honored. That’s sweet, Ray, but, well, when Chase and I got out of the car the other night, we kind of decided we’d go together.
• So I’m glad to see you’re out of your doldrums. That hair, guy, is just… Hey, so, Nicole, remember what I said. I’m serious. If you want.
• Nothing. It’s a big-ass mistake. I thought it would make Dulcie come back. Seriously? How?
• Can you think of anything that would make Dulcie freak out more than me with “Miss School Spirit” Nicole Maris?
• You know, to make an impact, you have to go to extremes.
• Why’d you do it?
• It’s not you.
• Dave, do you mind stopping off at the mall? I wanna pick up a Swatch.
• A necessary evil, Chase. We have to look chummy, remember? And the benefit of that? We’re in this together.
• So, how does it compare? To what? Protests, clove cigarettes, bongos… whatever it is you beatniks do. – We prefer “disaffected youth.” Okay, so… More pep. The monopoly on pep is definitely held by Time Zone’s status whores. – We prefer socially non-retarded.
• It’s okay to look like I’m going to the dance with a friend. It’s not okay to look like I paid a guy to take me.
• If you can’t hack it, get out of the game, right?
• You know, ringing a bell with a sledgehammer or loogie chucking, the size of your engine, whatever.
• This is the good part.
• Okay, so he’s not your boyfriend or anything, right?
• I have some pretty serious trust issues when it comes to the male sex. I wonder where it comes from.
• I want you to have this. This might explain me better than I can. “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”? This is supposed to explain why you’re never around? Must be a hell of a book.
• There’s this little centennial thing I’m kind of involved in, but, well, you wouldn’t know anything about it.
• It’s the best band in town. – Stylish. – Thanks. – You made this? Yeah. So, how do you like the band? They rock, but I doubt they’re up on their Brandy. Brandy? There’s a sister with edge. That’s the direction the committee’s going, Ray… quality with mass appeal. Can you say oxymoron?
• Yeah, aren’t you losing reputation points just being this close to us?
• Hey, guys, I’m pulling off the biggest scam of all time, and I’m catching shit? Don’t you see? I’ve entered into their world. Did you leave bread crumbs? Glow in the dark.
• You have all the duties of a girlfriend and none of the perks. You’re not getting any perks, are you?
• He really has entered their world.
• They’re the same person, brainiac.
• Flakey, self-absorbed, neurotic actress type or gun-toting, badass FBI agent with years of pent-up sexual frustration? – Not even close. – My man. What I wouldn’t do to Scully. I’m sure she’s been drooled on before. Jealous.
• Dave probably saved half their lives, and they’re making fun of him. – Typical. – Typical of what? Is this more “us/them” rhetoric?
• Can you honestly tell me you’ve never made fun of those people over there? No, that’s different. – How? – Think about it. We laugh when it’s the boss or the debutante who slipped on a banana peel, not Tiny Tim.
• I don’t need this, not from you. You’re better than this. What makes you say that?
• Look, if you leave mad, it sets us back. It doesn’t set me back. Don’t know how I got myself into this. So far, the payback’s been minimal. It’s all about you… your friends and your turf. – My turf? – Nicole. Okay. You’re right. First, come back. Be the charmer we both know you can be. And then we’ll go wherever you wanna go. Wherever I want?
• We painted each other’s toenails. – Look, why don’t you girls just… And then we played Truth or Dare, remember? You two admitted liking Alanis Morissette before the record went platinum. – I never liked Alan… – You did, too.
• Best of, but everyone knows Nicole’s a lot of talk and very little action. Yeah, but a lot of girls are like that. Not all girls. Thank you.
• I come here a lot. Not lately.
• She’s the kind of girl who will call you on your bull. She’s not afraid to dance. She offers to pay. She doesn’t decide before a date whether she’s gonna kiss you or not. She’s not completely earnest, yet she’s not completely ironic.
• I’d rather take the overage out of decorations than entertainment. We’ll lose the smoke. We got a Brandy-style cover band that is so right, but they cost.
• The info’s in my locker. I’ll figure it out later. Okay, I’ll go get it now. What’s up with Nicole? – I think she’s in love.
• Who are you?
• I don’t think he’s such a good idea, Nicole. – Why not? – You’re neighbors, for one thing. – And another thing is… – Yeah? He’s too tall for you. Oh, Mom. It’ll be okay.
• Some of us require beauty sleep, Chase. I’ll let you get that. See you tomorrow.
• Look at ’em down there, talking about us. Saying what, Eddie? You know, “He’s cute.” He’s sweet. He’s built.”
• Well, how long are you gonna make him wait? The key to pleasing a woman is sweet talk. “You’re so beautiful.” “Have you lost weight?” And then there are the three words that always seal the deal for me… “Another tequila shot?” Come on, Nicole, we’re bonding here. Dish, girl.
• You think you’re happier now? I don’t know. Do you? Jury’s still out. It may have been a short list, but before I became what I am now, at least I knew who cared about me. Really cared.
• You know, I still have the letter you wrote me in seventh grade. Burn it. You said… you said you hated me, and there was something in there about how the only way you’d ever touch me again was if you came down with leprosy. Yeah, sorry about that. Don’t be. I deserved it. I’m the one who should be sorry.
• Chase, when your mom got sick… – Please, Nicole, let’s not do this. I want to. I’ve wanted to say this for five years now. When your mom got sick, I couldn’t bear to go over to your house. It was too hard. I was too scared. I just wanted to cry all the time every time I saw her, every time I saw you. Even when we were together, you wouldn’t say anything. You’d just sit there. So, when you started wigging out in school, skipping, pulling the fire alarms, I just acted like I didn’t know you. Well, I’m over it now.
• I used to think he had some… I don’t know… some social consciousness. Is this the animal-testing thing? Your concern is noted. Do you know anything about his mother? Only that she died when he was young… like 12 or something. 11. you know how? No. Cancer. Lab rats, medical research… Think about it.
• I don’t know. She’s been freaky around me. Nice, even. Well, mission nearly accomplished then? I guess.
• I mean, who could have known that underneath all that rebellion