Here, we’ve compiled some of Charles’ most distinctive lines, showcasing his reactions and perspectives throughout the Beetlejuice movie franchise.
Charles Quotes on Home and Family
- Charles: This is great! Just what the doctor ordered.
- Charles: Delia Deetz, welcome home.
- Charles: It’s okay, there’s no damage. See? Good, sturdy, country, craftsmanship. Look at that kitchen. You’ll finally be able to cook a decent meal. Come and have a look.
- Charles: We’ll have to rip out all the plumbing. Other than that, it’s perfect. Just perfect. What do you think, honey?
- Charles: Delia… …let’s get one thing straight… …we’re here to enjoy the country setting… …not to trash the place!
- Charles: Is the rest of the house as bad as this?
- Charles: Yeah. Well, maybe the house could use a little remodeling. But why don’t you just leave this room alone (referring to the study), okay?
- Charles: Don’t bait your mother, pumpkin. When we get settled, we’ll build you a darkroom in the basement.
- Charles: I’m happy here. Those people in New York don’t know what they’re missing.
- Charles: Good idea. The furniture truck is coming. We must decide what goes and what stays.
- Charles: Here’s Lydia. Well?
- Charles: Lydia, is Connecticut so boring? I had Maxie Dean on the phone, honey. Dad’s found a way of making money while I relax, so would you scram? Your mother’s gonna kill you when she sees you cut holes in her $300 sheets.
- Charles: Pumpkin, sweetheart, go help your mother.
- Charles: Well, this looks really good.
- Charles: Drive carefully!
- Charles: The attic’s locked.
- Charles: Delia! I can’t believe you’re here!
- Charles: I’m so happy to see you!
- Charles: Oh, Charles, look what happened to me!
Charles Quotes on Relaxation and Frustration
- Charles: (in the study) Ten minutes. I’m already perfectly at ease.
- Charles: I’m here to relax and clip coupons, and damn it, I mean to do it.
- Charles: (startled) Can’t you see I’m relaxing?
- Charles: What is the point of my coming here if you people won’t let me relax?
- Charles: What the hell are you doing?
- Charles: Jesus!
- Charles: (whispers) Not me. Them.
- Charles: Otho, are you doing this?
- Charles: Maybe this was all a bad idea.
- Charles: Yeah? Yeah, this could all work out. Home. Though…I’m not sure that this is the right environment for Lydia — Snakes. Ghosts.
- Charles: What are you gonna do? Viciously rearrange their environment?
- Charles: [scoffs] Every time she says that, the paint peels and some wild creature tries to kill us.
- Charles: Are they still here, Otho?
- Charles: Otho, that’s enough. Can you stop this?
- Charles: Geez!
Charles Quotes on Business and Ideas
- Charles: That’s a very good idea.
- Charles: [to the moving crew] Why don’t you take a break for half an hour?
- Charles: (on the phone) Maxie, haven’t I always made you money? That’s the only real question.
- Charles: (on the phone) It’s not a building. That’s the beauty of it. These people don’t know the value of their property. I can buy the whole town.
- Charles: (on the phone) Come and see. And bring Sarah.
- Charles: (on the phone) All right, Charles. It’s just that I’m kinda busy here.
- Charles: (on the phone) Just a minute, Max
- Charles: (on the phone) Max, wait, wait, wait wait.
- Charles: (looks out the window at a building) Nice building. Bad roof. Good parking.
- Charles: I’d like to propose a toast to our intrepid friends who braved the Cross Bronx Expressway and two dozen toll booths to be with us. May your buildings go condo.
- Charles: It was like being in an amusement park. Blam!
- Charles: People will pay big money for this.
- Charles: You think so?
- Charles: (sees the model of the town) It’s the whole damn town.
- Charles: Otho, you get Maxie on the phone right away. We’ve really got something here. We can turn this place into the world’s leading supernatural research center. An amusement park. I’ll do a presentation. Lydia will bring the ghosts.
- Charles: What type of motivation do you require, Otho?
- Charles: You’ve got a stake in this, too, Otho. This is a presentation. It requires a sense of occasion, a sense of style. It’s so big, how are we gonna get it out?
- Charles: Wait, wait, wait. There are plugs.
- Charles: Okay, go.
- Charles: We’ve got Ed Cornwall to head the wax museum dedicated to 50 great moments of the paranormal, here (uses the pointer to indicate Thanksgiving Park) in Thanksgiving Park. You must remember Ed, Maxie. He’s the genius who gave us the talking Marcel Marceau statue. And D-Con is on its knees to sponsor the insect zoo in the old hardware store. We can’t lose! Lydia, you finally decided to join us. Honey, I just, uh, I just finished the initial presentation. And now I think it’s time to have a stretch and to invite our friends to meet your friends, okay?
- Charles: You —
- Charles: Charles: This reads like stereo instructions. Sounds like Lydia got an “A” on the math test.
- Charles: I know what you two are up to and you’re not gonna get away with it!
- Charles: Otho, why don’t you come in the front door?
Charles Quotes on Confusion and Departure
- Charles: I’m sorry to bother you. My name’s Charles Deetz. I’m feeling a little lightheaded. Where am I?
- Charles: All right. Unbelievable.
- Charles: Excuse me, can I please speak to your manager? My wife is gonna flay me if I don’t get home soon.